Morning Reflections

This morning I awoke to a winter wonderland in my backyard. After getting dressed and moments before I headed out of the house I noticed that my backyard was sparkling. I gave a closer look out the window and gazed upon a breathing taking sight. Ice had covered all the grass, cattails, and tree limbs behind my house. The tall tan grass and cattails that guard my pond shimmered in the sunlight. The small grouping a trees looked as if they had been bathed in crystal and diamonds. The backyard looked as if it had been flash frozen in time. It was a sight to behold. It got my thinking about how it looks on a sunny fall day. You see the tall grass and cattails turn a gorgeous tan, the algae that covers the pond a beautiful mint-green, the sumac a firey red, and the leaves, shades of gold and orange. The sun backlights it all and adds a warm hue that brings comfort and peace. It made me want to run upstairs, change and throw on my robe, brew some hot tea and stare out the windows for hours, but then I thought what would be the point. You see I have no one to share this with, I'm alone.

I find that in life everything is better when you can share it with someone. You always have someone who can walk with you down memory lane, who was there to experience the same thing you did. Can you enjoy life on your own? Of course you can, don't be silly. Sharing however is a wonderful thing, it makes life that much sweeter. I don't have anyone to share with, and that makes me feel that much more alone. I like to share in life, share in the laughter, the sorrow, the ups and the downs. Everything is better when there is someone to share with, even if it's a dessert and you want it all to yourself, that cake has never tasted better.

I miss the companionship I shared with my late wife. I couldn't tell her everything that was going on with me because she didn't have the strength to help me bear that burden. One thing she did was made me feel amazing. Everything little thing I did for her was spectacular, or in her words....fabulous. I was the center of her world.... and even though I couldn't' share everything with her she shared it all with me. She made me feel special, she made me feel loved, and even though I couldn't have a normal life with her she did give me some type of companionship. I never realized until now how important that is to me, and how hard it is to not have that in my life. I'm sure I'll find a companion again one day, it's the wait that is killing me. I've been waiting for years to share my life with someone without reservation, I hope I don't have to wait too much longer.