Walking the Fine Line

To My Loyal Readers!


It is amazing how complex a human being can be. In my last post I talked about the challenges Songstress and I were having. After some counseling with our Pastor, alot of root issues began to surface. Turns out I was paying for the mistakes of another even though I gave her everything she wanted and more her concept of love has been tainted by other men in her life that have done her wrong. She believed that the tainted love she received was the best she could ever get, it wasn't her fault, she never was given the chance.

We're working through this together, and she's beginning to make great progress. I don't want you all to believe that she's a project to me, I'm with her for what I see in her, I'm in love with her despite whatever may seem wrong. If you could see what I see, you would have no questions, it would be obvious. Someone posted a comment (please put down a name or something when you leave a comment!) cautioning me to be careful. I thank them for the concern but caution isn't my strong suit! I'm a risk taker, and love is risky if I hold back for even a second there can be divison. I'm running to Songstress with open arms, fully vunerable, what she does with that is up to her. I was once a very closed off man..... it's a miserable way to live.

There are many issues that I'm dealing with that are carry-over from before I met Songstress, and I'm trying to toe the line between protection and secrecy. How do I not involve her because she doesn't need to know the whole story and to bear any extra weight. I believe that women are the weaker vessels, and that a real man is equip to bear much more then a woman as he should. I believe men are to be the Priest, Provider, and Protector of the home, that includes the family that dwells there in.

I'm a HUGE fan of the movie 300, it's become my new favorite along side Black Hawk Down. In that movie King Leonidas leaves his home to defend his country for it's people, for freedom, and for the woman he affectionately calls "His Queen". He sacrifices himself for her, their son, and their way of life. He leads his men into sure death and they go knowing full well what lies ahead, but it is the courage, valour, and strength that causes them to fight to the bitter end. If the Queen knew what really happened on that battle field she may never have been able to endure it, it would have been more then she could have taken or wanted to know, no matter what how strong she was. She stayed at home and fought her own fight from a place of safety. She knew the end result, but didn't know what it took to get there, the blood that was shed, the pain endured, the battles fought. I'm walking that same line with Songstress, how do I protect her but yet keep her close enough to me. It's a fine line to walk..... one day I'll get it right.