My Final Goodbye

I am not going to be long, this will be my final post. Today marks the 7 month anniversary of my late wife's passing. I've used this blog as a means of healing and therapy for me. I still miss her, and I always will. I still love her and I always will. The sting of her passing lessens everyday, it's slowly becoming a dull ache and one day I will be able to look back on our time and see nothing but joy. That day is growing closer everyday, for now when I think or her and see her in pictures I spend my time thinking on those things are are good. I want to thank all who have been reading this and those who have commented. I leave you with this picture, the last we ever took together as a family. This was about a month before her passing, this was the final family photo we ever had. I bid you farewell, this was my story.

My Wonderful Weekend

This was the weekend that I travel to my parents home to visit my son. It's a four and a half hour drive one way, so at times it can get pretty lonely. I generally scan the radio for about two hours continuously searching for a song or two, maybe a bit of news to pass the time. I'm not fond of my Cd's.... listened to them so much, I need new music. I ended up listening to a Milwaukee Brewers baseball game being broadcast..... I like baseball reminds me of being a kid.

I spend less then 48 hours with my son on these weekends, but it's worth the drive just to see him. I'd go every week if I could, gas is so expensive and it's 500 miles round trip, I'd be getting an oil change once a month!

We woke up Saturday morning around 7am and headed out to do our Saturday morning routine. Juice and milk, a diaper change, and toonies (cartoons). Then after about an hour my son is usually ready for breakfast. My mother makes us breakfast which is nice change of pace from me doing all the cooking. So we cycle through his favorite toonies and I take a break to grab a shower and change of clothes. My folks use this time to get housework and/or shopping done and we set out to play. My son loves to roughhouse, so we play pretty hard and invent some fun games. My parents have built their lives around the boy so the house is filled with stuff for him. He has an indoor play slide which we use to launch stuff from. I bought him blocks and we stack them in front of the slide so he can race down it and knock everything over. This time he took his stuffed tiger and let him take the first crack at the brick tower. After wrestling and playing hard for about 2 hours it was time for a snack break. Juice and carrots were on the menu, something we both enjoy. I leaned myself up against the counter and handed him a carrot stick. He looked at me and then turned around, look over his shoulder and backed himself up against the counter, leaning on it the same way I was.

They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery...... but for me this went beyond flattery. There's nothing better for a father in my opinion then to watch your son want to be like you. Do what you do, and say what you say........ he wants to be just like me.

Checking In

I'm just posting so that my thousands of daily readers still know that I draw breath. I found a blog to follow about another 30yr old widower with an infant daughter. You can find the link on the right hand side of the page, check it out. Not much has been going on in my life lately. I have a job interview next week, and I head out today to see my son. Thunder storm rolled through last night waking me from my sleep. Thunder crashed so much that I was jolted awake and felt like my heart was about to jump through my chest. Left me jittery with no way of calming myself down. It was a spectacular display, lightning so intense that it lit up the entire house and nearly blinded me when I looked out the window. The morning was cool, grey, and dreary..... not the greatest motivator to moving my carcass out of bed.

"Iron Man" comes out today, going to see it with a bunch of my male friends from church. Men's Movie Monday.... it's been awhile since me and the guys got together. I need that male bonding, adult conversation, change of pace. Something I've neglected since the end of the football season, it's been too long. I'm not too deep in thought today, I'm watching the clock waiting to hit the road and get to my boy. The day is going in reverse I believe..... not good at all.