Change is good.......right?

What a terrible game last night! There hasn't been a good MNF game since the Oct 29th debacle of Broncos v. Packers where the Bronco secondary blew it in OT. Last night was supposed to be Men's Monday Night Football at a friend's house. Every monday a few of us guys get together in his "Man Cave" (aka the basement) while the wives cook us up food and let us act like a bunch of untamed gorillas while they gather upstairs and watch CSI or something. Last night I couldn't attend because I had some excess work I needed to accomplish, guess how much I got done? Yea that's right almost nothing! I took the dog for a nice brisk walk and then vegged and worked, worked and vegged. I was actually asleep before midnight!

I've been noticing some very interesting things about myself lately. Things are changing and I think they're good, but I'm not totally embracing the change quite yet. For instance the other day I was thinking to myself that I should go out and try new things. Now to you that might not seem so monumental, but to me it's HUGE! I order the exact same thing at a restaraunt everytime I go there. I don't deviate, I stick to what works. I take the same way home everyday. If I find a path to or from somewhere no matter if there is a back way I take it. I wear the same style of clothes, same colors, almost the same designer. I like to shop at only a few select stores for my things. My life is very regimented, very simple, not wild at all. So for me to want to try new things means that I'm probably due for a CAT scan to make sure I don't have a screw loose.

Let me give you another example. I'm a shirt and tie kinda guy (lately I've not been wearing the tie though, hmmm). I buy the same color shirts, same color ties, blue, brown, tan, and white. I have a few yellows, a marron, a black, and two greens. I actually thought to myself "Self, if I need to ever get a new shirt and tie I should buy something of a different color, maybe orange, or red, possibly even a shade of purple (my heart almost stopped, I'm just glad I didn't utter pink......no pink, ever. Period end of story.)

A week from today I have a dinner date. It's a not a date date, but it is with a female. She's a friend of mine, it's a benefit for her company. I think I'm going to try and order something different.

I was beginning to wonder why this sudden change. Why am I wanting to get out of the house more, and try all these new things. When my wife was alive I never wanted to leave the house, then it hit me. The last 4 years of our marriage she spent a total of 9 months in the hospital. That's 9 months out of 48, or 19% of our time together. When she was home, I just wanted to be with her. Spend time with only her, now that she's gone I want to spend time with other people. I want to get out of the house, instead of being a prisoner in it.

I find myself more willing to take certain risks. Financial risk isn't hard for me, I'm a finance man. I can calculate risks when investing, I can allocate a portfolio accordingly, but in other areas I'm not so confident. I can't calculate, there are no numbers. To a numbers man it's scary and unsecure territory, I have no safety net. These small changes I'm sure will open the door to larger ones, broaden my horizons and make me a more well-rounded and complete man. So change is good, I think I'm ready for it.